Tears of Joy

Hey, today is Tuesday. I wanna share a very interesting story. It's about me. Since I was a kid I've been longing for a normal family. I don't think the family I have right now was my real family. My parents never put much trust on me. My dad never really talk to me. My mum all she can do is find something wrong with me. Sometimes it's too easy for my dad to cut relationship with me for any trouble I cause. I always think they never treat me like I'm one of them just a freaking slave. Last week, on Friday, I finally have the courage to go to JPN Jabatan Pendaftaran Negara to find out my origin my real identity because I was a muslim my father's name is written as Abdullah instead of the father who raise me. I just went there, asking for my birth certificate just to know who is actually my biological parents. Guess what I do have a biological mother and her name was Lucy. I was so happy I just cried there. For 21 years, I've always feel so alone and that day I feel like I wasn't anymore. Then I ask them, can I get her full details. Where is she now? Who's my father? What race is she? Her religion? I was excited. There's was so many question I have in my mind. No one would actually understand how I feel. They were raise by their own family. So they don't really feel the joy I feel at that moment. They knew how happy I am and so they ask me to fill up some forms and they tried to do background check on my mother. I cried for almost 2 days. But I started to question myself, why did she gave me up for adoption? Why there was no record on my father? So what is my real name before the adoption? Are they still alive? Iban religion normally are Christian and Free Thinker. There was also a part of me think that before this I'm Christian and was raise as a Muslim? I just can't wait for the real document to arrive. I wanna know more about myself. I did share this story to some of my friends. Some of them said that I'm actually a bastard and that's why my mother gave me up for adoption. They also said that Iban people they have like some intercourse tradition and that's when they have me. It was just a mistake to have me. So they gave me up. Some say, I think your father is dead and what not probably everything happen during one night stand. As for me, I don't really care what my friends have to say. I don't think that I was born because of a mistake that my mom make. I went through my baby pictures, I didn't look like I was any mistake. I was happy and I don't think my mom would gave me up. I wanna believe that she did gave me up but only to let me have a better life that she could never give. I wanna believe that my parents still out there somewhere, happy and still do love me and still do remember me and who knows... my parents actually celebrating my birthday every year. I may have not seen my real mother in person but the tears that falls on my cheek says that my mother really really love me and she misses me everyday and I can feel that so deep in my heart.